last night I was denouncing some forgettable shitbag to my girlfriend and said “even the ground wouldn’t want him to rot in it” and was instantly projected into the body of a gnarled old irish woman 200 years ago, spinning thread and spitting on the ground as I bitch and look out to sea.
When you bitch so hard you astral project intobone of your past lives
double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine
skin as cool as rasputin, russia’s greatest love machine
Boy, you think you know what’s happening in this one and then it just knocks you flat, doesn’t it
Why his shoes on the wrong feet
LMFAO
my baby is getting so big and someone fix his shoes please
I’m so tired 😂😂😂
“I think we should switch places. When camp’s over, I leave as you and go back to London and you leave as me and go to California.”
I LITERALLY STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THEY MADE THIS FILM WITH ONLY ONE LINDSEY LOHAN
Right up there with finding out that Genovia isn’t a real country.
WAIT GENOVIA’S NOT A REAL COUNTRY
I THOUGHT IT WAS IN SWITZERLAND
THATS GENEVA YOU CRUMB
YOU CRUMB
me in class
me at family functions
me at my therapist
me at a red light
me ordering at popeyes
me
I’ve come to the conclusion that none of you fear god
me addressing the huge fucking geese sleeping and shitting in front of the entrance to my college
her: honey you seem to have something on your mind
me: no sweetheart i’m fine
her: are you sure?
me: yes i’m sure. good to sleep
